musings

Good lord.  I've been on the road for 6 hours and then lying in bed unable to sleep for another 3.   It's going to be a long day.

I spent the weekend visiting a friend of mine and her son.  It's funny, I ended up at their place because I lost a bet to her son.  the deal was that if I lost I would visit for a weekend.  Not to much of a sacrifice sine I do actually enjoy spending time with them.  My weekend was all picnics and playing with a kid.   Hard on the body but easy and relaxing on the soul.  I need more mental and soul relaxation days.   Life is good.  Well it is good to me.

My musings....
I was invited to go to an event with a friend of mine.  Its an event that I have done before with this same person.  Her and I share a lot of common interests and this event encompasses several of them.   We have also done this particular even together in the past.   Last year when we went there was something that bothered me and I couldn't quite put my finger on it until now.   The issue is fairly simple.  the entire time we were there this last time she kept talking about other people. Two other people, to be more specific.  Something would happen and it would be "So and So would have loved that", or "Such and Such would have thought that was funny", and even "when I did this with Whoosie this happened".  It made me feel as if she didn't want to be there with me but just didn't want to go alone.  I'm thinking if it's going to be like that then she can just go with someone else and I'll go with someone else.  If I see her cool.  if not cool.   I'll have to talk to her about it  this week and just let her know what is on my mind.  I mean, maybe I'm just seeing things differently then they were or maybe she wasn't aware that she was doing that the entire time.  It's not fair to me and to be honest, it's a waste of my time to be someone's "plus 1".  If you want to go to an event with me then be there with me not thinking about what it would be like if you were there with someone else.

Secondly, I have been thinking about Burning Man.   This year, I am with a new group of people (new for me to be at Burning Man with).  they have mostly been to the Burn and I know most of them from other events and life in general.  Still, I am a bit apprehensive about going with them.   It's an odd mix of people from somewhat reserved to some serious party people, conservative to very liberal.   also, they are not nearly as organized as my last group.  I'm thinking that somehow we have been committed over the level of commitment that we really want.     But I guess that will really just mean that some people are going to be working hard while others will be hardly working.  I had an opportunity to be with a couple of other camps.  One a dance camp and the other a bike repair camp.  Both of those have people I have camped with before and seem fairly organized.  But for me the dance camp is just not something I could really be useful too and the bike repair camp.... Well I'm not sure why I am not camping with them.  I guess we shall see how it goes.  I have a fine tradition of not actually hanging out with the people I camp with and I'll likely keep that tradition alive.  It helps to keep me sane I think.   I'm really not the type of guy that wants to be around the same people 24/7, and the one person in our camp whom i might be tempted to... Well, I just don't see that happening this time around.  Still, you never know what will happen in life until you get there so no need to waste time and energy speculating on the unknown.   best way to feel you missed out on life is to spend to much time speculating about it rather then living it. 

Anyway....

5 Things I learned Last Week

1: Kids will wear you out!! But damn you should be able to get into great shape.
2: Just because 2 people want to get together does not mean it is going to happen.  At times the Universe just has other plans.
3: Sometimes you just have to walk away.
4: Assumption really is the mother of all fuck ups!
5: When you are with the right people, anyplace can feel like home.

-Saint

Photo:  Thriller: A Cruel Picture   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thriller_%E2%80%93_A_Cruel_Picture

Laws of Power 3: Conceal Your Intentions

3- Conceal Your Intentions


Keep people off balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense. Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelop them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions, it will be to late.

In other words, keep them guessing.

In the 1850's Otto von Bismark, a Prussian Minister, was caught up in a time of change. Germans were crying to be unified into a solid nation from the many states it had broken up into, of which Prussia was one. The current King, Fredrick William IV and his ministers were afraid that attempting to do so would anger Austria and cause a war with them as well.

Bismark, a former soldier, had dreamed of a united Germany and of humiliating Austria for there part in keeping Germany divided. So he went before the King and parliament and gave a passionate speech. A speech about how foolish it would be to make war without a reason so valid that it would still be valid when the war was over. He spoke out for Austria ad praised their actions. This speech was enough to keep Prussia from going to war. The King was so pleased that he made Bismark a member of his cabinet and later Bismark became the Premier of Prussia. From there Bismark eventually led Prussia in a war against austria and forged and powerful German state, with Prussia at it's head.

One of the fast tracks to gaining the upper hand is to drop the pretense of honesty, and learn the skill of concealing what you really desire. Often this can involve setting up a idea or cause that you truly don't believe in, or to pursue something you are not interested in. Hide your intentions not by being quite but rather by talking about something you don't desire as if it were the longing of your heart. Or you can use the age old practice of false sincerity. Don't take it to far or people start to think you are up to something.
The best deceivers are not those who make up tall tales and elaborate stories. The best tend to be a little bland and even dull witted. they come across as familiar and banal.

If you are familiar with magic then you have seen a great example of this. They get you to concentrate on the wrong thing and add in smoke and mirrors to make you believe on thing is going to happen, while the other hand is preparing the "trick". Also in dating, often a person will use the tactic of going after a person close to the object of their desire to get a person to lower their defenses. Then, like a shark, they will close in for the "kill" on their unsuspecting prey.

In my life I've rarely used this practice.  Back when I worked at a particular summer camp, I had gained a bit of a reputation for partying after hours even though I did my job extremely well.   Well, in order to try and reel me in I had heard a rumor that they were going to hire me but not give me the position I wanted.    So i began to tell everyone how great it would be to be the gymnastics instructor (it would have been great except for the fact we'd had the same on for 5 years and I knew he was coming back). The truth was that I'd been told that their was an opening for BMX instructor and was interested in that position, but I feigned non-interest in it.   Matter of fact, when it would come up I would politely change the subject.  That next summer when I was approached  for the BMX position,  I acted shocked and apprehensive for a while but willing to shoulder my load.   In the end, I ended up taking that program and remolding it into the most popular program at that camp while I taught it (4 years in a row).  

Now this is not to say, that you need to go around lying to people, just don't let them know what your strategy or plan is.

Now at times it might work better for you to do the opposite of this law. That is to say, you might want to revel exactly what you want to do. This tactic is best used if you are known for being sneaky. It is at this time better to own up to the fact that you are a rogue, not only can you at times be forgiven your short comings but at times you will even become admired and allowed, if not asked, to keep up your deceptions.

PT Barnum, a man who took deception to a level of art, learned to embrace his reputation as he got older. He once set up a buffalo hunt in New Jersey with real Native Americans and buffalo. Although he had said it was genuine, it came across as so staged and set up that the crowd found it amusing. Taking a page from that same book, he later revealed his deceptions in a tell-all book about his life.

At other times you might find that you want a smoke screen that is so loud it prevents people from seeing what your real intentions are. Like the charlatans from the past who would come into town with performers and fortune tellers, when the real purpose was to get people to by some cure all elixir that in reality did nothing or at times more harm then good. The down side of this strategy is that you will generally have to get out of town before it becomes known that all you are is pomp and that your cure all really is a cure none.



Have you ever heard of a skillful general, who intends to surprise a citadel, announcing his plan to the enemy? Conceal your purpose and hide your progress; do no disclose the extent of your designs until they cannot be opposed, until the combat is over. Win the victory before you declare war. In a word, imitate those warlike people whose designs are not known except by the ravaged country through which they have passed.
~ Ninon de Lenclos

-Saint

Laws of Power: 2- Never Put to much Trust in Friends, Learn How to Use Enemies

It's funny to me when I look around and see people putting these various "laws" into use.   This one to me is one of the harsher ones.  I'm a big fan of my friends.  Still, I have seen people 's friends tear them to shreds and I've also seen other people  turn enemies into assets.

2- Never put to much trust in friends, learn how to use enemies


Be wary of friends- they can betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also have a tendency to become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal then a friend ever was, because he is grateful for the opportunity. In fact you have more to fear from friends then enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to pick up a few.

In the year 959AD, the chinese General Chao K'uang became the emperor of China. He knew that in all likelihood he would only have a year or two to live because that was how things were going. Someone would become Emperor only to be murdered by a rival and another Emperor raised. So after being made Emperor K'uang decided to try a new strategy. He held an banquet and got everyone roaring drunk. The other Generals feared he was going to either kill them or have them killed as was the trend with a new Emperor. Instead K'uang offered them all fine estates and riches to spend there days. The generals were so amazed that they all retired and became nobles in his court. With their riches tied to the throne they became supporters of his rather then plotting to have him killed and replaced.

In the work place, it is hard to have friends working for you. I've seen this time and time again. You hire a good friend or you get promoted ahead of a friend and suddenly you have this employee who expects to receive special treatment. When you treat them like everyone else suddenly it's not about the job, it's about your relationship. Even the most asinine of bosses have a tendency to be lighter handed on a friend at work. Oftentimes in the end, it is that friend who is the most willing to spread rumors and to complain about your leadership.

I've also seen the amazing work that can be done by rivals, when you use their talents well. You'll see this a lot in corporations when they buy a company that they used to compete with. Instead of firing the old management staff, they will keep them in place and sometimes even promote them. The staff who's jobs have remained become this loyal work force. Unfortunately, most corporations forget this law and instead just fire everyone, pissing everyone off and creating more enemies.

Of course having enemies does more to build you up in certain ways then having friends (I love my friends, but...). An enemies has no problem pointing out your character flaws and weak points thereby allowing you to work on those areas. Friends have a tendency to blow smoke up your ass, telling you often what they think you want to hear or just accepting you as who you are and not really challenging you to be anything more. Why settle for mediocrity when most people have the potential to achieve greatness?

At a catering company I once worked for, the owner started out with his brother as a partner. His brother walked out on him after a few months only to return years later with a lawyer and demanding his half of the now successful business. It destroyed the business in the end and also the owner. Nothing like a beloved family member (they had been really close growing up) betraying you to help with the stress and your general health.

At Reebok I managed to use this well. The girlfriend of my manager (who I had problems with) worked for us. Eventually the manager was transferred to another store (big corporate thing, long sad tale and I was the cause of it). I made it known, after he left, that I believed she was a valued asset to the store and was instrumental in getting her a raise. Suddenly she, whom had hated me, was a good friend. She spoke well of me when I was later accused of stealing and also informed me who had accused me (it was another manager who's ass I'd saved a couple of times... refer to rule 1).

"Lord, protect me from my friends: I can take care of my enemies."
~Voltaire, 1694-1778

Laws of Power #1 Never Outshine the Master

In life there are ways that people have used to get ahead throughout history. Some are interesting and others are down right Machiavellian.  Several years ago I began a project to post these "Laws of Power" in another journal. Somewhere along the way, I just stopped. I have decided to try it again.

Please be aware that these are from the book by Steven Greene, "The 48 Laws of Power".   At times I will edit and/or add my own opinion on utilization of these "Laws".  Also note that I am not endorsing the utilization of any of these laws but rather I feel it is important to be aware of the games people play in order to get you to do what they wish.  

I can show you the information but I can't tell you how, when or why to utilize it.

Never outshine the Master:

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go to far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the exact opposite, that is, inspire fear and insecurity. Make your superiors appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

In 1610 Galileo discovered the moons of Jupiter. Instead of just taking the credit, he instead divided the discovery among his patrons (sponsors if you will). To one he gave the telescope he used, to another he dedicated a book, and to others he made them a part of the discovery in other ways. He focused on the Medici's because they were the most powerful of his patrons. Also Jupiter (the God) was one of the symbols of the Medici family. So he made this discovery a huge event that honored the Medici's. In the end it allowed Galileo to become the official court philosopher and mathematician for Cosimo II.
This worked because he made his patrons, whom had done nothing but give him funding, feel and look as if they had been more important to the discovery then they had been. He made them feel superior.

This law involves two parts. First: You must be careful not to inadvertently out shine your superiors. Some people are just uncomfortable with the fact that some of their employees may be smarter and/or more able then they are. Second: Never think that just because you are loved by your superiors that you can do anything you want. To often in history we see examples of favored servants and employees whom have had the affection of a superior turned against them.

In 16th century Japan, a peasant, Sen no Rikyu was the favorite of the Emperor Hideyoshi. Sen no Rikyu was one of the Emperor's most trusted advisers and a master of the Tea Ceremony. He had his own apartments in the royal palace, an honor rarely given to anyone. then one year Senno Rikyu had a statue made of himself standing regally and wearing sandals (only nobles wore sandals). The Emperor seeing this decided he had gone above himself and had Sen no Rikyu arrested and put to death.

"When the evening begin, Fouquet was on top of the world. By the time it had ended, he was at the bottom."
~Voltaire
(The above refers to a favorite of the young Louis XIV, the Sun King until he made himself look more wealthy then the king.)

I have used this law personally on several occasions.  Let me just relate one of them to you.

When I begin working for a foster family agency, I was hired as a driver.  As a driver I was paid additional monies each month based on my mileage.  The office I worked out of had a general policy that your mileage started from your house but for me they changed that rule and told me that my mileage had to start from the main office which I live about an hour away from.  I agreed and for the first 6 months or so, it was to their advantage that I was effectively not getting paid for several hundred miles a month.  For me it was cool. I was in college near the office and it was just a part time gig.

After 6 months things changed.  Suddenly a lot of my driving was actually in the area I lived in but according to my contract I had to take mileage based as if I left from and returned to the home office.  That was effectively giving me an additional 100 miles plus every time I did one of those jobs.  I was suddenly making good money based on mileage alone mainly because they were making me base my mileage from their main office.   I even mentioned it to them when I would go to turn in my mileage.   But in their smugness they thought they were outsmarting me. 

This went on for another year and a half until one day the owner noticed one of my mileage checks (which she always signed).  A new contract was written up and I was "encouraged" to sign it.  I worked another two weeks and then moved on.  But I still had to laugh to myself that when they thought I was the one losing out on money it was all good.  Once they realized they had actually outsmarted themselves it became an issue. 



-Saint

PS:  In the laws of power there is also a reverse of the law which can be effective as well.  Or in some cases there will be another law which tells you to do something totally different.

Stretching

Blogging is funny.  It's like trying to develop a new set of muscles.  Or maybe it's trying to develop muscles that you have not been fully using for a long time.

Think about it,  when were are in school half the time we are writing and reading and working on grammar and grand pa (you can giggle).  But once you get out of a school environment, for the most part those things just sit in the back of your head rarely used and then only for special occasions.

So I like to think of the first few blogging sessions as more of stretching exercises.  Warming up those old muscles and trying to work on their flexibility. From there you go into some light work and before you know it, you're ready to do some power lifting and/or some marathons.

Please bare with me while I stretch and get back into the routine over the next few weeks.  I have some more serious blogs ahead but don't want to go diving into the oceans of intellect before I've made sure that i remember how to doggie paddle.

-Saint

Blogging

I'm sure not many of you know this, but I used to be quite a prolific blogger.  It all started for me right after a particularly difficult break up.  I just needed an outlet to release my pain and also to allow my creativity to flow.  Back then I had hundreds of followers and even had people coming to me for advice on life, love and how to deal with the universe at large.   I didn't have the answers but I did have a blog!   Let me show you an example of the amazing stuff I would write.  heck, let's look at the amazingly wonderful and craptastic things that you will find in most journals.

1: Bad Poetry:  This tends to be a staple of some blogs and hell, i may still occasionally post some up.   Why is it that when you are blogging you occasionally feel the need to torture your friends and fans with this stuff?  it's not like when you have  visitors over you pull out the poetry you have written and force them to read it.  so why do it online?  I guess the world will never really know.  So just shut up and enjoy.

"
You said


You said you didn't want me
You said you didn't care
You said to stay away from you
You said, "Don't come back here".
It hurts my mind
It burns my soul
Still I stay away
And try and let you go
Then you call and say you miss me
How much you feel alone
I listen to your tears in silence
And comfort you over the phone
I want to say, "I miss you"
I long to say, "I know".
My world's so dead with out you
Just spinning out of control.
You beg me to come see you
Just to hold you in my arms
You have me so excited
You've caught me with you charms.
We hang up and I'm dancing
My soul aglow with joy
I guess I got to excited
Forgot I was just your toy.
You call me in the morning
To apologize for last night
You say you just can't see me
You crush my brief delight.
I sit alone in silence
My cheeks all stained with tears
The world is full of darkness
I face my deepest fears.
You said you didn't want me
You said you didn't care
You said to stay away from you
You said don't come back here.
Perhaps I should be angry
Throw all our past away
But if truth
If you just said the word,
I'd be with you today."

I wrote about 20 of these things.   And somehow the more I wrote the more people began to read me.  

2: Extremely short stories:  I'm talking about stories so extremely short that a mountain dew commercial would have barely started before I was over.  Another example of something that you should not be inflecting upon your guests in normal life yet for some reason you have to inflect on people who have taken the time to read your blogs.    Why is it that just because we have blogs we feel that any piece off ... imagination we write down must be enjoyed by the rest of the world?   What is it about the freedom of cyberspace that makes us think that our words must be shared?  Here is one of my tales: 

" Insomnia:
in·som·nia
Pronunciation: in-'säm-nE-&
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin, from insomnis sleepless, from in- + somnus sleep -- more at SOMNOLENT
Date: circa 1623
: prolonged and usually abnormal inability to obtain adequate sleep
- in·som·ni·ac /-nE-"ak/ adjective or noun

Why is it that at times no matter how tired we feel, sleep still eludes us? What is the cause of this thing called insomnia?

Legend has it... In a time when the world was young, and humanity was in it's infancy upon the land, having just climbed down from the trees of it's ancestors, that there was no need of sleep. The land itself was in perfect peace and even death was little known except in rare and wondrous accidents or errors in judgment. At that time all people lived in harmony and there was no such thing as ownership, labor, retirement, 401k plans or even the internet.
Then one day the gods looking upon the young race of men began to notice a curious thing... Humanity was unlike the other creatures of the world. Humanity had a great thirst for knowledge and a capacity to put abstract thoughts and plans into action. Humanity was quickly headed to becoming like the gods themselves.
The gods put their heads together. Something had to be done about this race called man (read as men and women). For many long moons and seasons the gods thought and thought. Then like a bolt of lightning it hit them, if they could only get man to not work together so well and take away from the time he could devote to the pursuit of knowledge, understanding and craftsmanship then perhaps mans advances as a race could be stopped or at least better controlled.
So they installed in man (slowly least it be noticed) a sense of self, the ideal that as long as the individual was cared for the others of the race were of no concern. This lead to individuals beginning to claim vast tracks of the world for themselves or this people or that family until the entire world had been divided up. Next those who became leaders began to have others do their work for them. This caused these other people to have less time to do their own work so eventually they had to have other to do their work for them. Finally everyone was so busy doing everyone else's work they began to feel the first tinges of exhaustion.
The gods stepped in at this time and provided man with a means to relieve this new found and unpleasant feeling. They called it sleep.. It was a time where all the cares of the world could be forgotten and one could allow the body to recuperate so more work could be done the next day. Soon sleep became all the fashion. No longer was humanity working, learning or creating, no everyone was sleeping.
Then the gods once again came to "assist" man. They began to tell certain less scrupulous individuals that while others slept they could cause all sorts of mischief and even get away with it without fear of being caught. But humanity caught on quick and soon everyone was watching everyone else and slept with one eye open at all times. To this day humanity has never forgotten those lessons.


This is just another tale...
... Or is it?"

Did any of my friends really deserve that?   Well, I guess they would do the same to me so, yes.
;-)

3: Tests and quizzes:  In my early blogging days I would take literally hundreds of these things and post them up.  Some were just those ones that give you a result.  I mean I was a God,  a Devil, a Monkey, a Banana, a... Well, just about every thing.  I bet if there was a test out there that told you how many Dicks you could hold in your mouth then 10,000 people would have taken it before a week ended and posted it on some blog or social site.   The worst though are the ones where you write your million and one answers and then inflict the entire thing on your friends.  What are the odds that anyone is really going to read all of that?

4: Photos:  Now here is where Blogs shine.  I love seeing everyone's photos.   Hell I'm sure I'll paste one in here at some point.   I wish more people would post more photos.  Hell, I am sure people wish I would just shut the hell up and post one.  

5: Journalling:  To me all blogs are a journal.  I mean everything you post tells people a little bit about the inner workings of you.  But in this case I am talking more about actual traditional journalling.  "Dear diary" type shit.  these to me are interesting.  I guess I'm just noisy.   It is funny to me that these tend to be the blog posts that are least accepted.   And even worse, the more serious the subject manner the less likely you are to have feedback from any one!  Come on people.  If someone is writing about suicide then maybe they just need a little feedback.  If someone is writing about Disney Land with there 10 buddies then they are likely ok with you not saying anything.  So why is it always the other way around with feed back?

6: News, Politics, and Other Media:  At times I will write about something that is in the news.  I'm not a fan of telling you who has died or about the latest scandal.  But I do have an interest in what is going on out there and I like to hear other peoples opinions.  What I don't like is flamers.  You know, those people who have to be right.   Usually I just delete their posts and if it continues I will remove them from my blog entirely. 

Anyway, I'm just saying that I used to blog a lot and I'm hoping to get back into the habit.  One day at a time like any bad habit.  you just have to do it enough that it seems like it's fun or at least you get into the routine of it. 

-Saint

My burn in 2010 (reposting from another blog)

What can I say about the Burn? There are a million stories that I was at least a twinkle in but i'm not sure where to start. Let's start with a list.

Things I Learned at Burning Man:

1: Never assume you know what's coming.

2: The universe has a way of tossing something at you weather you are paying attention or not.

3: Water is Life. It's easy to forget how precious it is until you are in a place where you have to think about it.

4: Trash is trash.

5: Many hands sometimes just make more work for a few hands.

6: No matter how many great people are around it's still only about 5% who do most of the real work.

7: Art is subjective, so are style, fashion, pain and good looks.

8: Sometimes you just have to relax and watch the show to really get a true picture.

9: No matter how much you may like someone they may still be an ass.

10: If someone offers you a gift, it is ok to say no thank you.

11: You can re-gift a gift.

12: Sleep is good for you.

13: Sometimes you just have to let something go, no matter how much you may want it.

14: Any lesson worth learning is worth learning again.

15: We all grow at different rates, in different ways and different directions.

16: Life is meant to be lived not to be watched on TV.

17: Carry your own TP and then you are rarely surprised.

18: There are few greater feelings then knowing you just made it happen for someone.

19: Smile.

20: 20 is never enough but sometimes has to do.


My burn was amazing. I can honestly say it is the best one I have had yet. The art was spectacular the people were warm and friendly, the weather was mostly amazing, and the air was full of excitement. Sure there were a few annoyances but I wouldn't change a single thing. If you were there then thank you for being a part of that. If you were not there then hopefully one day you will be. I danced, biked, ran, walked, drank, kissed, hugged, watched, caroused, comforted, admired, loved, lusted, laughed, cried, and so much more.

Maybe one day I'll tell more but for now, have a great day.

-Saint

Testing

Here I sit with my head full of grand things to write about. where to start first? Do I write a tale about my life journey? do I give a political tirade? Should I talk about who I think the best dressed celebrities are? Nah, for tonight I just want to say.... I hope I keep this up. who knows, One day I may get a whole follower.

-Saint