Lets use this thing

Yes, I'm trying to get back into the habit of posting here.  

1: Exercise will reduce stress even if you don't realize you have any.

2: Sometimes the only smart answer is to walk away even in affairs of the heart.

3: Having a snarky comeback will almost always cause more trouble than it is worth.

4: I need to spend more time out of the house.

5: It only takes a small change of circumstance to shift your life and/or lifestyle in major ways. 

Thanksgiving was good.  My mom came out and we had a family dinner at a local resort.  It was odd to just show up 15 minutes before a reservation and then order a meal.  We were in and out in less than 90 minutes.  I really missed having left overs the rest of the weekend.  I mean, who cooks Thanksgiving weekend?  LOL

My car is having some issues and that sucks.  That's going to be money out of pocket when all I have in there are some dead moths.  I NEED new tires (at least 2) and to change out my tail lights.  I may just change out my head lights as well.  At least besides the tires it appears to not be anything to serious.  There is some body work I need done but that can hold off for a few months.  Having to pay those back taxes really put my back to zero. 

I've opted out of going to Dickens this year.  I just can not justify the expense for a day in SF. I'll already be there for New Years so that will have to do. 

One of my uncles is in the process of dying.  It looks like he will not last into next month.  But he is already past the day they said he would pass so maybe he will recover.  He has liver cancer and has been battling with it for several years.  It had gone into remission a few years back but has returned.  He's been in the hospital for a couple of weeks.  I missed seeing him when he was in the an LA hospital.  I thought he would be there more then a couple of days then be released.  Instead they transferred him to another state and then he took a turn for the worst. 

I took the weekend off from exercising.  Its been an interesting journey.  My run on Monday was a third faster then when I did the same run 3 weeks ago.  I have adjusted my push ups to a format which will get me back into gymnastics form.  Good god, these are kicking my butt again.  I was doing about 500, 2 to 3 days a week and last night I managed 165.  LOL  I can feel it!

I am in the market for  a new job as well.  I'd like to get back to the Long Beach/Huntington Beach area or move up to the San Francisco region.  Ventura just isn't doing it for me.  I'm not leaving without a job though.  It is nice to have a decent paying job and I would love to get another one, this time in a location I like. 

That's it for now. 
Have a nice video...

-Saint

Laws of Power: 4-Always say Less then Necessary

4- Always say Less then Necessary

When you are trying and impress people with words, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make in vague, open ended, and sphinx-like. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.

In the court of Louis the XIV, there were often long and involved heated debates about various issues. Eventually two ministers would be chosen to take the debate to Louis himself. They would at times take days and weeks preparing their side of the argument. After Louis had heard both sides of the debate, he would simply say, "I shall see." Then Louis would say nothing more on the subject. After some time would pass the ministers and courtiers would simply see that some action had happened.
Louis the XIV was a man of few words and all the more powerful because of it.

In life, there are those who appear to be average and those who seem to always speak with the wisdom of the ages. Often times it is only a matter of how and when they choose to speak. Try and only comment when you have something to say. If you are stating the painfully obvious then try to do so in a manner which leaves the listener wondering if you are speaking to them on some higher level.

When I used to do extra work (in movies and TV shows), I would usually take a book with me and kinda sit off to the side and read. At the same time I'd be keeping tabs on the conversations around me (you never can really get to much privacy on a set). When something would pop up that I had personal knowledge concerning , I'd pop into the conversation (unless it seemed more private, you can tell) and give my input. After awhile people kept including me in their conversations just to hear if I had something to say.

There are few times when talking a lot is to your advantage in the long term. There may be a situational advantage but even that is a short term gain with little or no long term effect.   At times I have found myself on this end of the spectrum as well.  I have said more then necessary.  After a while people would just ignore what i had to say because they would think of me as a "know-it-all". 

"Oysters open completely when the moon is full; and when the crab sees one it throws a piece of stone or seaweed into it and the oyster cannot close again so that it serves the crab as meat. Such is the fate of him who opens his mouth too much and thereby puts himself at the mercy of the listener."
~Leonardo di Vinci 

This is life

Hey there.

Five Things I Learned This Week

1: Sometimes the only reward for a job well done is being worn out.
2: Death happens. Its not the end of the world from everyone.
3: If you are going to judge a chicken fast food restaurant by the owners politics and /or religion then you need to step up and judge every other company by the same standards.
4: The hype is true. I'm fucking amazing.
5: Never trust someone when they tell you they will be ready/done/arriving/leaving or pretty much anything in 5 minutes.

Let me start of by saying... not being on FB seems weird. I keep getting half tempted to go back so I can see who is eating what, and listen to political rants, and have idiots tell me that medical care is really a plan to kill me and my kids, and... Oh wait, not at all. I love not being on that site. For me the clincher was that my feed was so jacked up and also my options for security had been reduced to the point of being a joke. Now, I will miss the fact that a lot of my friends have migrated over there from various other sites and on the occasion when it worked I could communicate with 1000 people at once.

Now as for my life. I have a couple of major things going on at the moment. First, I have paid off all of my bad debt. That leaves me with a great feeling inside and a few hundred extra a month. Well saying extra implies that I don't have places or things to spend it on. Bwahahaha. That really would be awesome.

Secondly, I need to get into a new apt. I need to get into one soonish. My living arrangements were based on the fact that I needed to pay off a ton of old debt. Well, that is done. I'm sure i am good until the end of the year if I need to. But still... WTF is going on with rents? I swear rent has gone up by 50% in the last 5 years. I'm certain that my pay hasn't.. Oh wait. OK I was making $0.00 before so I have had a huge increase. Still, the cost of living has really jumped. I don't want to get a roommate that I don't know. Anyone have a sexy, rich, single female friend who wants to be sugar mama to an awesome man?

Burning Man is coming up. I have a ticket technically but I still have not payed my friend for it. To be honest, I am considering not going at all. I'm just not feeling it. It means taking a week off of work and also spending money. Also, i find myself without a carpool buddy. I am giving myself until next week to figure it out. I can always find a random carpool buddy if need be. And I know that as soon as I get there, I'll be feeling it. OK who am I kidding? I'll most likely be there. Anyone know someone who needs a ride out? Preferably hot, female, single, and wants to jump my bones (I am so half teasing). I'm heading up early (Friday the 24th) and will leave either early Saturday morning (Sept 2nd) or Sunday in the early AM.

Dating life has been a little odd. Yeah, I know, I have no issues getting laid.  Heck, I have no problem finding people to go out with in general.  My problem is finding anyone of any real substance whom I share a mutual attraction with. Seems I am getting bored so fast these days. Now there are people who I do find super appealing but they have no interest in me, or they are so jaded that I realize I don't want to be with they after a while. Now I know there are people out there interested in me whom I don't have any interest in and I know I am far from perfect. OK not really that far.   Than again, I am having a great time dating around so why mess with a good thing.  Heck, it has been so long since I had an actual girlfriend that I am not even sure how that would work. The optimal situation (in my head) would be me having a serious relationship with someone who was ok with me stepping out side of our relationship on occasion. Kind of a limited open relationship.

Work. Is. Boooooring. My job is boring me to tears. I also need to start making more money. That is going to mean I have to go someplace else or start my own business. Pains in the ass. So as of now, I am casually looking for a new job. It's funny to me how there used to be some much work out there that someone could quit a job and find a better job in 3 months maximum. Now people who are qualified can't find work in their fields of expertise. WTF? OK, No political ranting (tosses soap box into fire pit).

I went to LoJ a month or so ago and it was fun. The most thrilling part to me was spending time with a couple of my friends. I'm thinking I won't be back. But it has been a good 3 years. I also did Bat's Day at DisneyLand a few months back. Tthat was awesome. I likely won't be back for that either because DisneyLand has raised their rates beyond ridiculous.

Faire and me are no longer having our torrid affair. I've been doing less and less of it over the last 5 years and the last couple of faires I have attended have been less then spectacular for me. I just don't enjoy it that much any more. sure I love drinking and hitting on women as much if not more then the next guy, but I have never needed faire for either of those activities. Other than that, I'm really not doing much these days. My street gigs are dated (to me at least), I no longer am on stage, I don't work for any vendors, and I am about done with the whole thing after 2 hours. It was a great ride, but for now it is over. I'm sure I will visit from time to time still, just a whole lot less.

All in all my life is amazing. Some people have died over the past year (a lot of them) and some have simply moved on from my life. Other wonderful people have come into my life and I am well satisfied.

Ciao

-Saint

musings

Good lord.  I've been on the road for 6 hours and then lying in bed unable to sleep for another 3.   It's going to be a long day.

I spent the weekend visiting a friend of mine and her son.  It's funny, I ended up at their place because I lost a bet to her son.  the deal was that if I lost I would visit for a weekend.  Not to much of a sacrifice sine I do actually enjoy spending time with them.  My weekend was all picnics and playing with a kid.   Hard on the body but easy and relaxing on the soul.  I need more mental and soul relaxation days.   Life is good.  Well it is good to me.

My musings....
I was invited to go to an event with a friend of mine.  Its an event that I have done before with this same person.  Her and I share a lot of common interests and this event encompasses several of them.   We have also done this particular even together in the past.   Last year when we went there was something that bothered me and I couldn't quite put my finger on it until now.   The issue is fairly simple.  the entire time we were there this last time she kept talking about other people. Two other people, to be more specific.  Something would happen and it would be "So and So would have loved that", or "Such and Such would have thought that was funny", and even "when I did this with Whoosie this happened".  It made me feel as if she didn't want to be there with me but just didn't want to go alone.  I'm thinking if it's going to be like that then she can just go with someone else and I'll go with someone else.  If I see her cool.  if not cool.   I'll have to talk to her about it  this week and just let her know what is on my mind.  I mean, maybe I'm just seeing things differently then they were or maybe she wasn't aware that she was doing that the entire time.  It's not fair to me and to be honest, it's a waste of my time to be someone's "plus 1".  If you want to go to an event with me then be there with me not thinking about what it would be like if you were there with someone else.

Secondly, I have been thinking about Burning Man.   This year, I am with a new group of people (new for me to be at Burning Man with).  they have mostly been to the Burn and I know most of them from other events and life in general.  Still, I am a bit apprehensive about going with them.   It's an odd mix of people from somewhat reserved to some serious party people, conservative to very liberal.   also, they are not nearly as organized as my last group.  I'm thinking that somehow we have been committed over the level of commitment that we really want.     But I guess that will really just mean that some people are going to be working hard while others will be hardly working.  I had an opportunity to be with a couple of other camps.  One a dance camp and the other a bike repair camp.  Both of those have people I have camped with before and seem fairly organized.  But for me the dance camp is just not something I could really be useful too and the bike repair camp.... Well I'm not sure why I am not camping with them.  I guess we shall see how it goes.  I have a fine tradition of not actually hanging out with the people I camp with and I'll likely keep that tradition alive.  It helps to keep me sane I think.   I'm really not the type of guy that wants to be around the same people 24/7, and the one person in our camp whom i might be tempted to... Well, I just don't see that happening this time around.  Still, you never know what will happen in life until you get there so no need to waste time and energy speculating on the unknown.   best way to feel you missed out on life is to spend to much time speculating about it rather then living it. 

Anyway....

5 Things I learned Last Week

1: Kids will wear you out!! But damn you should be able to get into great shape.
2: Just because 2 people want to get together does not mean it is going to happen.  At times the Universe just has other plans.
3: Sometimes you just have to walk away.
4: Assumption really is the mother of all fuck ups!
5: When you are with the right people, anyplace can feel like home.

-Saint

Photo:  Thriller: A Cruel Picture   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thriller_%E2%80%93_A_Cruel_Picture

Laws of Power 3: Conceal Your Intentions

3- Conceal Your Intentions


Keep people off balance and in the dark by never revealing the purpose behind your actions. If they have no clue what you are up to, they cannot prepare a defense. Guide them far enough down the wrong path, envelop them in enough smoke, and by the time they realize your intentions, it will be to late.

In other words, keep them guessing.

In the 1850's Otto von Bismark, a Prussian Minister, was caught up in a time of change. Germans were crying to be unified into a solid nation from the many states it had broken up into, of which Prussia was one. The current King, Fredrick William IV and his ministers were afraid that attempting to do so would anger Austria and cause a war with them as well.

Bismark, a former soldier, had dreamed of a united Germany and of humiliating Austria for there part in keeping Germany divided. So he went before the King and parliament and gave a passionate speech. A speech about how foolish it would be to make war without a reason so valid that it would still be valid when the war was over. He spoke out for Austria ad praised their actions. This speech was enough to keep Prussia from going to war. The King was so pleased that he made Bismark a member of his cabinet and later Bismark became the Premier of Prussia. From there Bismark eventually led Prussia in a war against austria and forged and powerful German state, with Prussia at it's head.

One of the fast tracks to gaining the upper hand is to drop the pretense of honesty, and learn the skill of concealing what you really desire. Often this can involve setting up a idea or cause that you truly don't believe in, or to pursue something you are not interested in. Hide your intentions not by being quite but rather by talking about something you don't desire as if it were the longing of your heart. Or you can use the age old practice of false sincerity. Don't take it to far or people start to think you are up to something.
The best deceivers are not those who make up tall tales and elaborate stories. The best tend to be a little bland and even dull witted. they come across as familiar and banal.

If you are familiar with magic then you have seen a great example of this. They get you to concentrate on the wrong thing and add in smoke and mirrors to make you believe on thing is going to happen, while the other hand is preparing the "trick". Also in dating, often a person will use the tactic of going after a person close to the object of their desire to get a person to lower their defenses. Then, like a shark, they will close in for the "kill" on their unsuspecting prey.

In my life I've rarely used this practice.  Back when I worked at a particular summer camp, I had gained a bit of a reputation for partying after hours even though I did my job extremely well.   Well, in order to try and reel me in I had heard a rumor that they were going to hire me but not give me the position I wanted.    So i began to tell everyone how great it would be to be the gymnastics instructor (it would have been great except for the fact we'd had the same on for 5 years and I knew he was coming back). The truth was that I'd been told that their was an opening for BMX instructor and was interested in that position, but I feigned non-interest in it.   Matter of fact, when it would come up I would politely change the subject.  That next summer when I was approached  for the BMX position,  I acted shocked and apprehensive for a while but willing to shoulder my load.   In the end, I ended up taking that program and remolding it into the most popular program at that camp while I taught it (4 years in a row).  

Now this is not to say, that you need to go around lying to people, just don't let them know what your strategy or plan is.

Now at times it might work better for you to do the opposite of this law. That is to say, you might want to revel exactly what you want to do. This tactic is best used if you are known for being sneaky. It is at this time better to own up to the fact that you are a rogue, not only can you at times be forgiven your short comings but at times you will even become admired and allowed, if not asked, to keep up your deceptions.

PT Barnum, a man who took deception to a level of art, learned to embrace his reputation as he got older. He once set up a buffalo hunt in New Jersey with real Native Americans and buffalo. Although he had said it was genuine, it came across as so staged and set up that the crowd found it amusing. Taking a page from that same book, he later revealed his deceptions in a tell-all book about his life.

At other times you might find that you want a smoke screen that is so loud it prevents people from seeing what your real intentions are. Like the charlatans from the past who would come into town with performers and fortune tellers, when the real purpose was to get people to by some cure all elixir that in reality did nothing or at times more harm then good. The down side of this strategy is that you will generally have to get out of town before it becomes known that all you are is pomp and that your cure all really is a cure none.



Have you ever heard of a skillful general, who intends to surprise a citadel, announcing his plan to the enemy? Conceal your purpose and hide your progress; do no disclose the extent of your designs until they cannot be opposed, until the combat is over. Win the victory before you declare war. In a word, imitate those warlike people whose designs are not known except by the ravaged country through which they have passed.
~ Ninon de Lenclos

-Saint

Laws of Power: 2- Never Put to much Trust in Friends, Learn How to Use Enemies

It's funny to me when I look around and see people putting these various "laws" into use.   This one to me is one of the harsher ones.  I'm a big fan of my friends.  Still, I have seen people 's friends tear them to shreds and I've also seen other people  turn enemies into assets.

2- Never put to much trust in friends, learn how to use enemies


Be wary of friends- they can betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also have a tendency to become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal then a friend ever was, because he is grateful for the opportunity. In fact you have more to fear from friends then enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to pick up a few.

In the year 959AD, the chinese General Chao K'uang became the emperor of China. He knew that in all likelihood he would only have a year or two to live because that was how things were going. Someone would become Emperor only to be murdered by a rival and another Emperor raised. So after being made Emperor K'uang decided to try a new strategy. He held an banquet and got everyone roaring drunk. The other Generals feared he was going to either kill them or have them killed as was the trend with a new Emperor. Instead K'uang offered them all fine estates and riches to spend there days. The generals were so amazed that they all retired and became nobles in his court. With their riches tied to the throne they became supporters of his rather then plotting to have him killed and replaced.

In the work place, it is hard to have friends working for you. I've seen this time and time again. You hire a good friend or you get promoted ahead of a friend and suddenly you have this employee who expects to receive special treatment. When you treat them like everyone else suddenly it's not about the job, it's about your relationship. Even the most asinine of bosses have a tendency to be lighter handed on a friend at work. Oftentimes in the end, it is that friend who is the most willing to spread rumors and to complain about your leadership.

I've also seen the amazing work that can be done by rivals, when you use their talents well. You'll see this a lot in corporations when they buy a company that they used to compete with. Instead of firing the old management staff, they will keep them in place and sometimes even promote them. The staff who's jobs have remained become this loyal work force. Unfortunately, most corporations forget this law and instead just fire everyone, pissing everyone off and creating more enemies.

Of course having enemies does more to build you up in certain ways then having friends (I love my friends, but...). An enemies has no problem pointing out your character flaws and weak points thereby allowing you to work on those areas. Friends have a tendency to blow smoke up your ass, telling you often what they think you want to hear or just accepting you as who you are and not really challenging you to be anything more. Why settle for mediocrity when most people have the potential to achieve greatness?

At a catering company I once worked for, the owner started out with his brother as a partner. His brother walked out on him after a few months only to return years later with a lawyer and demanding his half of the now successful business. It destroyed the business in the end and also the owner. Nothing like a beloved family member (they had been really close growing up) betraying you to help with the stress and your general health.

At Reebok I managed to use this well. The girlfriend of my manager (who I had problems with) worked for us. Eventually the manager was transferred to another store (big corporate thing, long sad tale and I was the cause of it). I made it known, after he left, that I believed she was a valued asset to the store and was instrumental in getting her a raise. Suddenly she, whom had hated me, was a good friend. She spoke well of me when I was later accused of stealing and also informed me who had accused me (it was another manager who's ass I'd saved a couple of times... refer to rule 1).

"Lord, protect me from my friends: I can take care of my enemies."
~Voltaire, 1694-1778

Laws of Power #1 Never Outshine the Master

In life there are ways that people have used to get ahead throughout history. Some are interesting and others are down right Machiavellian.  Several years ago I began a project to post these "Laws of Power" in another journal. Somewhere along the way, I just stopped. I have decided to try it again.

Please be aware that these are from the book by Steven Greene, "The 48 Laws of Power".   At times I will edit and/or add my own opinion on utilization of these "Laws".  Also note that I am not endorsing the utilization of any of these laws but rather I feel it is important to be aware of the games people play in order to get you to do what they wish.  

I can show you the information but I can't tell you how, when or why to utilize it.

Never outshine the Master:

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go to far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the exact opposite, that is, inspire fear and insecurity. Make your superiors appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

In 1610 Galileo discovered the moons of Jupiter. Instead of just taking the credit, he instead divided the discovery among his patrons (sponsors if you will). To one he gave the telescope he used, to another he dedicated a book, and to others he made them a part of the discovery in other ways. He focused on the Medici's because they were the most powerful of his patrons. Also Jupiter (the God) was one of the symbols of the Medici family. So he made this discovery a huge event that honored the Medici's. In the end it allowed Galileo to become the official court philosopher and mathematician for Cosimo II.
This worked because he made his patrons, whom had done nothing but give him funding, feel and look as if they had been more important to the discovery then they had been. He made them feel superior.

This law involves two parts. First: You must be careful not to inadvertently out shine your superiors. Some people are just uncomfortable with the fact that some of their employees may be smarter and/or more able then they are. Second: Never think that just because you are loved by your superiors that you can do anything you want. To often in history we see examples of favored servants and employees whom have had the affection of a superior turned against them.

In 16th century Japan, a peasant, Sen no Rikyu was the favorite of the Emperor Hideyoshi. Sen no Rikyu was one of the Emperor's most trusted advisers and a master of the Tea Ceremony. He had his own apartments in the royal palace, an honor rarely given to anyone. then one year Senno Rikyu had a statue made of himself standing regally and wearing sandals (only nobles wore sandals). The Emperor seeing this decided he had gone above himself and had Sen no Rikyu arrested and put to death.

"When the evening begin, Fouquet was on top of the world. By the time it had ended, he was at the bottom."
~Voltaire
(The above refers to a favorite of the young Louis XIV, the Sun King until he made himself look more wealthy then the king.)

I have used this law personally on several occasions.  Let me just relate one of them to you.

When I begin working for a foster family agency, I was hired as a driver.  As a driver I was paid additional monies each month based on my mileage.  The office I worked out of had a general policy that your mileage started from your house but for me they changed that rule and told me that my mileage had to start from the main office which I live about an hour away from.  I agreed and for the first 6 months or so, it was to their advantage that I was effectively not getting paid for several hundred miles a month.  For me it was cool. I was in college near the office and it was just a part time gig.

After 6 months things changed.  Suddenly a lot of my driving was actually in the area I lived in but according to my contract I had to take mileage based as if I left from and returned to the home office.  That was effectively giving me an additional 100 miles plus every time I did one of those jobs.  I was suddenly making good money based on mileage alone mainly because they were making me base my mileage from their main office.   I even mentioned it to them when I would go to turn in my mileage.   But in their smugness they thought they were outsmarting me. 

This went on for another year and a half until one day the owner noticed one of my mileage checks (which she always signed).  A new contract was written up and I was "encouraged" to sign it.  I worked another two weeks and then moved on.  But I still had to laugh to myself that when they thought I was the one losing out on money it was all good.  Once they realized they had actually outsmarted themselves it became an issue. 



-Saint

PS:  In the laws of power there is also a reverse of the law which can be effective as well.  Or in some cases there will be another law which tells you to do something totally different.